Author Archive
The Ultimate Recycled Home
I grew up in the era of the Cold War. In fact, we had a Minuteman Missile installed at the end of my block. That worried my parents–they saw our neighborhood being a pinpoint on the Soviets' attack map. It worried me for a different reason. Every time I had to walk over it, I was sure that someone was pushing the red button to launch it at that precise moment and I would find myself straddling a missile on its way to who-knows-where.
When I saw a Minuteman Missile on display at the Air and Space Museum I was in awe of how tall those things were. I also felt an odd affection for it.
I recently came across a web site for a company that sells old missile base properties, called 20th Century Castles. I especially like the one that is nine stories deep. Think f the possibiities! I bet I could finally have that sewing room (but I picture Gary finding a way to turn it into a nine-story garage). No windows to wash. No window treatments to worry about either. No gutters to clean. And our family and our closest 500 friends could survive the next nuclear attack.
O.k. I'm in. How do I get one? Oh, good. The web site has a shopping cart. Let me just click the button and put it in my cart. Hmmm. $2.3 million. Visa or MasterCard? Where's the PayPal button? Dang! Not enough money in the account. Guess I'll have to save a little longer. Hopefully there won't be any bombs dropping in the meantime.
Laundry-Day Blues
Sorry I missed posting a blog last week. I was busy doing laundry. Repeatedly. The same load. Over and over.
My washing machine is seriously malfunctioning. It no longer drains the water on its own. It needs a little prodding from me. So I have to manually set it once to drain the soapy water and again to drain the rinse water. Pretty soon my prodding will involve my right foot, but for now I'm being patient with it. That's because I know it is soon going to the Great Landfill! (I'm saving the big kick for when it's being wheeled out the door).
I am awaiting the Appliance Cash for Clunkers Program., the best-kept consumer secret in the State of Florida. It's a nationwide program offering rebates for the purchase of energy-efficient appliances. The government allocated the money to each state to administer the program for their state. It's going on now in some states; Florida will begin April 16, Earth Day. Which is fitting, because that's where my old Maytag is going.
In the meantime I am researching new washers and comparing prices. I want to make sure that I'm paying less than I would than if I waited for one on a good sale. I'm also drooling at the pretty red and blue ones. However I don't think my poor old white dryer will look so good next to its new neighbor. I don't want it to develop self-esteem issues and burn my clothes in a desparate attempt for attention. So, I'll stick with white.
It's time to go commune with my washer. Again. And then I'll read the Sunday appliance ads. And maybe paint a target on the Maytag.
Renters Beware!
It's been a long time since I've played Monopoly. But I remember you had to play by the rules–you buy property and collect rent on it. If you were low on cash, you mortgaged it, but had to pay it back. Oh, those naive folks at Parker Brothers!
Now there seems to be no limit to the creativity of some greedy people. A story recently appeared in our local media of a fellow who was renting out houses that were in foreclosure. That's bad enough, but they weren't his! Apparently he would drive around and identify foreclosed houses that were vacant. Then he'd rent them out. Now the tenants are facing eviction and probably losing whatever security deposits they paid.
We had another story in the newspaper about a guy who owned 400 rental properties all in foreclosure. That's not the reason he made the news. He made the news for spending thousands of dollars for food baskets for the poor at Christmas. Now call me a capitalist, but it seems to me that that money belonged to the mortgage holder and wasn't his to spend.
If you are a tenant, take steps to make sure you don't become a victim. Deeds, mortgage, and property tax records are public record. In many counties, they are available online. Before you rent, do a search to make that the person leasing the property owns it, is current on paying the property taxes on it, and is not in foreclosure on the mortgage. Then, check the public records periodically, (preferably every month) to make sure no new foreclosure proceedings have been filed.
This is a wacky real estate market where a lot of people are not playing by the rules. But I can't help believing that being ethical and smart will win. And may the dishonest folks get their just due without a "Get Out of Jail Free" card!
The Most Dangerous Holiday of the Year, part two
As the wife of The Dollar Stretcher, I am frequently a trial tester for some of the tips that are sent in. Sometimes I am a willing participant. Sometimes not so willing. And so it went one Valentine's Day.
Let me say up front that there is definitely a line between romance and vandalism. I think the line was crossed one Feb. 14 a few years ago. My teenage son and I were running late. I opened the front door to see my minivan's windshield covered with a "I heart U" written in shave cream. The cynical son rolled his eyes and groaned and my heart went pitter patter. However, I was running late. So I hopped in behind the wheel and hit the windshield wipers. The stuff went everywhere!
So there we went, speeding down suburban streets with tufts of foam spewing from the van. As we got a few blocks away from the high school, my son (who by this time had slunk so far down in his seat he was on the floorboard) asked to be let out so he could walk the rest of the way. He'd rather take the tardy than be seen in a rabid minivan.
O.k., fine. Next stop was the carwash, where the attendant wondered aloud who would do that to my car. I felt like someone from a MasterCard commercial:
- Shave Cream - $.99
- Car Wash - $9.99
- Your husband proclaiming his love for all the world to see - Priceless
The Most Dangerous Holiday of the Year, part one
If 'Love is a Battlefield," then Valentine's Day is the minefield! I always feel sorry for the guys on V Day. They feel obligated to get something for their sweetheart, but because it's an obligation, it's not quite good enough. So it's darned if they do and REALLY, BIG-TIME darned if they don't. So, what are their options?
Flowers - roses are way too expensive, so the Mrs. is likely to resent the waste of money on something that dies in a few days. Buy carnations and "What, I'm not good enough for roses?"
Candy - Buy her chocolates and she'll bemoan the calories. Don't buy her chocolates and "What, you think I'm too fat?"
Jewelry - unless you're single and buying the long-awaited engagement ring, don't even go there. And if you are buying the engagement ring, take her shopping with you. She'll wear this every day for the rest of her life. Let her have a say in it! (I've always wondered….do you think Princess Di was happy with a sapphire?)
Lingerie - buy her something sexy and she'll think you are in it for yourself. Buy her something snuggly, she'll think she's no longer attractive to you.
So Guys, here's my advice to you. Put away the checkbook and credit cards. Pull out the blank piece of paper, ingredients for a gourmet dinner, and/or all of the creativity you can muster. Get sentimental, silly, sincere and suave. Good luck, Men. God go with you.
Next week, part two. I'll share with you how someone's Dollar Stretcher Tip led to the most memorable Valentine's Day I've ever had.
Subscribe via RSS